2009: The Year of Awkward Moments

I recently challenged you to set a theme for your year instead of a resolution (see What's Your Theme). I have done this for several years now and I find that it becomes a mission statement for my year. Being business-minded, when I am weighing decisions, I tend to come back to my theme(s) and it guides me. What's my theme?

To be honest, I have struggled with my theme for the year. And finally I realized, I really knew it all along, but did not have words... let me explain...

2008 broke my heart. It was fractured by a boy, it was shattered by Africa.

2008 brought many blessings. I am constantly staggered by how God has blessed me by my friends, my small group, my family - these people love me in a way I do not deserve and make me want to be a better person. They believe in me in the moments I do not believe in myself.

2008 brought success professionally and philanthropically. I was a rock star and was even nominated for an award.

2008 challenged me to make my Jesus more than a check list. I never meant for it to get that way, but somehow in the daily to do's, I had put Him in a box. And when I opened that box, He whispered sweet nothings in my ear and I felt His love in a whole new way. He took me on journey's I never experienced. He healed me in ways I did not know I was broken.

2008 brought fun trips. I traveled with 15 friends to the Dominican Republic and 5 very special ones to Africa. And in between were scattered trips to Orlando, Memphis, Atlanta, multiple beaches, the mountains, Tunica, and several other places filled with laughter and snapshots of memories I will remember when I am 80.

2008 brought new friends and sometimes I wonder where they have been all along.

This list could go on, but the point is did you know any of this? A select few do, but most do not. I am one of the most private and shy people you will ever meet. And while many of you find that shocking, my inner circle knows how very true this is. There is a value to not putting all your junk out there for the world. But there is a value to spreading your wings, being vulnerable and allowing people to see you.

As I listened to Bruce on Sunday, I finally had the words. I really had them all along, but its scary to utter them out loud, because to say them makes them real and the accountability begins. So as we dip our toes into 2009, my theme is this, to live fully by being vulnerable and letting people in and being less guarded. To break through the barriers that I fear to the point of paralysis. To wade through the awkward moments and continue to become the woman He made me to be.