When 21 Meets 30

I confess, I watched the finale of The Hills, and while we all know to not tune in for deep, meaningful thought, sometimes you find inspiration in the least likely spaces.

Let me set the scene for those fortunate enough not to be tied to reality TV. The girls from The Hills are talking about the different directions life is taking them in. One feels she needs to stop being a part of the party scene, one is moving in with her boyfriend, another has a boyfriend for the first time in a long time, and the final girl needs to move to a different country to "figure out who she is," aka, get as far away from the guy who turned her down as possible. Heavy hitting stuff, I know. While we will nominate it for some prestigious award later, here's the part that sent my brain spinning - At some point, one of the girls declares that they are in their mid-twenties now, and this is when they have to decide who they are going to be...

Ironically, I watched this in the same 24 hour time span that I also reconnected with a childhood friend. We had been pretty much m.i.a from each others lives for the past 9 years. And while we knew if we really needed the other, we only needed to ask, the bigger point is that the separation happened because of a disagreement between friends. It was big enough that it warranted space, and real enough that even at 30, I may have approached it differently, but I stand behind the 21 year old me that made those decisions. I feel like she did the best she could at the time, with the tools she had.

And this, is where 21 and 30 meet. The moment that you realize that it was an event so monumental that you're life really would look differently today had you not made the decisions you did in that moment. In fact, decisions made up to that moment because of the same factors, do affect you're life still today. And that is where I think that *gasp*, maybe those Hills girls are onto something.

So, let me introduce you to 21 and 30.

Both girls are pretty. They know it logically and know that it has opened doors for them. But they are their biggest critic (as all girls are) and often do not truly claim the woman that God created them to be. 30 is getting better at it though.

21 was in hiding. Life had knocked her around a bit, and she decided it was easier to live in her shell for awhile while she figured stuff out. 30 unabashedly claims that this is who she is, but does sometimes feel the need to shrink back from it still, because she finds it can be intimidating for some at times.

Both girls are fiercely loyal to their friends. 21's loyalty caused her to make decisions that was in their best interest but not her own. 30 is still loyal, but she will always make her own decision at the end of the day, even if it feels like she is swimming against the flow the majority of time.

21 was racing and scrambling to figure out her career and future. Partly because the first two plans hadn't worked out, partly because there was a drive bigger than her, that she didn't understand how to manage at the time. 30 realized that the drive almost killed her at times, has hit the glass ceiling of success in legendary ways, and measures life differently now.

21 felt everything, all the time. 30 learned to compartmentalize. Verdict is out whether or not that is always a healthy thing.

21 was living a lie. She knew that God was pursuing her and asking for her to come back to Him. But coming back meant letting go, and letting go, meant heartbreak. 30 knows she chose right and that was another monumental decision that changed the course of her life. 30 also is basking in God's love, impeccable timing and grace.

21 and 30 still have the same exact dreams, they just look different now.

And here is what 21 and The Hills girls didn't know that 30 does. We make decisions all the time that are monumental. Sometimes, they can seem so small at times and we don't realize until years later that even though microscopic in the moment, it changed life's course. Which means, that you don't just choose who you're going to be when you are in your mid-twenties. You do it throughout the course of your life.